Twitter Versus Facebook: It’s *ON*, Bitches!

Facebook is the people you knew in school.

I thought I was the only one experiencing issues with in the versus Facebook arrangement. So how excited was I to read the above statement on Twitter?

“*YES*” I screamed inside my head.

 Because screaming this out loud tends to make heads turn, cars crash, and neighbors glare, so I try to keep my lip zipped on the crazy-talk. Instead of sharing my joy with the world vocally, I did the (quiet) happy dance indicating to my hubz that something PROFOUND had just come across my screen.

T_T

That symbol above this paragraph?

 That’s his nonplussed face. Alas, the hubz was not as impressed as I with the Twitter versus Facebook comparison.

That’s because he doesn’t really care about these arbitrivial details.

That’s also because he doesn’t tend to get into any trouble on his own Facebook page, whereas I seem to invite it daily. My insistence that “BUT THEY STARTED IT FIRST” gets me nowhere with the hubz. He is so mean to me. I never get away with anything. And also, he never takes me to Europe. Just sayin’.

Fact:

 I’ve already ranted about this exact topic recently (and just cracked myself up all over again in re-reading my own post! Damn, I’m funny sometimes inside my own head!). You can enjoy that rant too (What Old People and/or Conservatives Don’t Know About Facebook). Because sharing is caring. You don’t have to thank me.

So if Twitter is the winner between Twitter versus Facebook —

Why don’t I just jump off Facebook altogether?

I’m not “allowed” — quotations used here because that’s not exactly the best word to describe the relationship my hubz and I share. “Allowed” comes across all bossy and whatnot, and you know by now I don’t respond well to authority. If I think of a better term, I’ll let you know.

Anyway — I’m not “allowed” to ditch Facebook because you can’t have a  unless you also have a personal page. Or something like that. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details because the hubz tends to run that parade for me. He thinks along the same lines as Rachel (): “It’s an important part of any writer platform.” Who ALSO prefers Tweets in the Twitter versus Facebook battle. Bet you didn’t know THAT, hubz. Think twice?

(Since I’m her “hubz” and also her “content manager”, I thought I’d share a link to what I DO know about Facebook: Facebook, How To Use It And Why It Is Important To Your Brand.)

Whatever. I only keep my Facebook page because my hubz tells me it’s a good idea for this here bloggy-blog; were it up to me, I’d deep-six that bitch so fast it’d make your head spin.

Or NOT.

 Because you probably aren’t on my personal page, which is where the majority of the drama ensues. So your head wouldn’t spin at all. Your head would remain calmly in place. The heads that would spin would be the ones on my PERSONAL page.

I did an online search (love me some Googlez!) to see if anyone else out there hates Facebook like I do. Of course there are a bunch of haterz… What the hellz was I thinking? But most of them hate Facebook for different reasons than I do.

For instance:

This guy at this page (yeah, I’m lazy, couldn’t be bothered to look more diligently for his nomenclature — please don’t hate me Mr. FB-Hater-Man!) lists some excellent reasons to ditch Facebook, like privacy, bandwagon issues, drama, & narcissism. Yep, Facebook is all that AND MORE.

It’s the AND MORE that I have problems with.

I wish Facebook would just fucking DIE.

Not like in a murderous, blood-n-gore kind of way. Just in a quietly drifting into the background passage into death. Like, when you notice after months of silence that someone’s dog hasn’t been barking lately, and when you go check with your neighbor, it turns out Fido was laid to rest. That kind of death.

OMG, guess what?

 America thinks Facebook is out the door anyway. Check out this poll which indicates a slight majority thinks Facebook “will fade away as new things come along”.

Twitter versus Facebook?

 No contest. Twitter wins, hands down! *and there was much throwing of glitter*