Bloggers are (mostly) awesome.
You want to know one of the things I most adore about the blogging world? The validation I find for all the ways in which I suck. If I complain about some douche bag’s asshole-ish behavior, friends and fans come crawling out of the woodwork to comfort my wounded heart. If I complain about a shitty situation I was forced to endure, I can read about how others survived similar or even worse conditions. And if I complain about one of my shitty traits, it is virtually guaranteed that someone possesses not only the same questionable quirks, but to a much greater degree of sucky-ness than I could even hope to attain.
Case in point? Let’s talk about the Xmas Tree.
I know a bunch of you are shaking your head as you read this, wondering at how I can possibly be allowed to raise children if my stupid Xmas Tree is still up. But I also happen to know that a bunch of you are nodding in agreement. Some of you suck as much as I do, and others of you have totally legitimate personal beliefs regarding the Xmas Tree Campaign to Stay. It is this last group of weirdos to which I shall first turn for justification.
A brief and likely incorrect Xmas Tree history.We all know that before Christianity took over the planet as the only religion anyone is now allowed to celebrate (haha), the pre-Christian peoples worshipped evergreens as symbols of everlasting life, or as life conquering death, or as the planet rebirthing itself in spring, or some mixed up combination of all that stuff, since “Thy leaves are so unchanging.” Those branches staying green provided maximum ju-ju for all the pre-central-heating folks, because they just knew within the coldest parts of the toes and fingers that — YES IT WILL, DAMN IT! — Spring would come around again at some point and bring with it the sun’s warmth.
At first, all those early pre-Romans burned the trees or logs or branches or whatever, dancing it around the fire all willy-nilly and probably celebrating birth rites the likes of which would make modern day Christians blush. Putting lights on the tree (whether candles, as in days of old, or electric bulbs, as in days of NOW) came later. I guess Smokey the Bear came along at some point and put the kibosh on forest fires caused by drunken debauchery caused by one too many tree party gone awry.
Regardless, the fires evolved into candle flames (still pretty damn dangerous, but slightly less so, and I guess Smokey the Bear, much like the rest of us, celebrates small victories) and then into bulbs. And all that lighting, regardless of the source, was meant to keep the darkness of the winter months at bay, until the sun once again awoke and brought with it warmth and light and food and whatnot.
The point of this Xmas Tree history?
As it pertains to this blog post, it is justification for keeping your Xmas Tree up through January. I would like to say I am paying homage to those early pagans and kept my Xmas Tree up because I have tremendous respect for the idea of celebrating a return of Spring after a long, cold Winter. But that would be a lie. I used to tell this lie, like, all the time. I think one year I even believed myself. I can be pretty convincing like that.
The truth is this: I merely suck at doing things in a timely manner. Just ask my family. I am late to just about every event — to the point that people who know me really well tack on a half-hour to whatever time I say I’ll arrive. They are usually being generous, because I have been known to arrive way later than a half-hour. Once a flat tire added two hours to my travels, and of course you all know about the “Cotton Swab Stuck in My Ear” incident which added several krillion hours to our arrival time. So to admit that I don’t get things done on time is really phrasing it mildly. I was even late to my own wedding. True story.
I’m not alone! *hoorayz*
Thank goodness I’m not the only one who has this issue where the Xmas Tree is concerned. As it turns out, my bloggy friend Gina didn’t take her Xmas Tree down until recently as well. As a matter of fact, in her post “Yes, Keep It Up! Keep It Up!”, Gina offers several reasons beyond my sorry pagan excuse for keeping your Xmas Tree around as long as you like. My favorite line, because it warms this hermit’s heart:
“Your tree will protect your privacy. You can hide behind it when your crazy neighbor is looking in your front window to see if you’re home…”
It’s like she wrote this with me in mind.
And then there are your crazies.
In a fabulous move (or lack of a move, as the case may be), another of my bloggy friends, Christina, has decided to keep her Xmas Tree up year ‘round. She wrote about her decision in a piece entitled “Is There Any Reason I Need to Take the Christmas Tree Down?” I’m pretty sure the answer was a resounding “HELL NO!” because that Xmas Tree has now become a permanent fixture in her home — and on the internet at large.
That’s right. The Xmas Tree has taken on a personality of its own. You can chat with it on Facebook as well as on Twitter. It is expected that this will go viral, so I suggest hopping on this story now, before you’re merely a late-comer to yesterday’s news.
Also? That shit is fucking hilarious. Who WOULDN’T want to be part of that fun?
Hellz. If I didn’t have people checking up on me to see if I’m providing “normalcy” for my children, I would probably leave my Xmas Tree up all year, too. They are so much damn trouble for such little payoff. I think it would be fun to change out the decorations seasonally.
You know, whenever I get around to that sort of thing. I still owe people school pictures from over three years ago.