Greetings and salutations and whatnot and what have you.
So Mondays, in case you haven’t noticed, are when I usually write about social media or computer-ish types of things. I say “usually” because it’s my bloggy-blog and I can do whatever I want and I can just imagine some punk trying to get all up in my face if I decide to write about something else, like, for example, the delicious Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies I picked up the grocery store today. I’m not going to write about them (I’m going to eat them), but I could if I wanted to.
That beginning paragraph was pointless.
I just needed an opening and couldn’t think what to say. So I said that.
Which leads me to this.
A couple months ago, my hubz was all like, “You should write about LinkedIn for one of you Monday posts!”
To which I replied, “Why? I don’t even use that shit. I don’t even really know what that shit is.”
“Right,” said my wise and patient spouse, “but you do have a profile over there, so you could update your information at least, and maybe put your account to better use.”
“Hold up a minute.” I raised my arms in the air and waved them around. That’s what I do sometimes when things are frustrating or overwhelming. I think it’s a breathing technique. I totally just made that shit up. I don’t really know why I wave my arms around. “Why do I have an account on LinkedIn? I have never been there. That shit makes no sense.”
My hubz gets annoyed with my arm waving, because it’s a bit distracting. And also, I think he is scared of me when I do that, because I probably resemble a crazy person about to come undone. So he walked over to where I sat, held my hands, and calmly explained that he had opened an account on LinkedIn for this here bloggy-blog. Which makes sense in retrospect, and explains why I keep getting notifications that people have approved me for various skills.
I do have skills, people. Mad skills.
But the people approving me for them have no idea what skills I may or may not possess. And that right there is my big problem with LinkedIn. I can see how it started out as a professional resume building place, where prospective employers could look at applicants in one simple format. In theory, it sounds great. But when people are saying I am a pro at things like MS WORD, and I only just got MS WORD installed on my laptop a few months ago, there is a problem. That problem is called reliability.
I do not give a shit what your LinkedIn profile says about you.
Seriously. I don’t. Because (a) you probably made most of that shit up, or at least exaggerated it, and (b) the people who endorse you might not have ever even met you. What could I possibly glean about you from your profile that I could get by merely chatting with you on Twitter or reading about you from your Facebook friends?
Which isn’t to say I’m hiring.
I’m not. So I really don’t have any reason to check out your LinkedIn profile in the first place. I am just trying to imagine why anyone ELSE would hire a person based on their LinkedIn profile. The whole things seems silly, pointless, and extraneous to me. But, okay, I’m going to humor my hubz and go see what my profile says about me.
OMG. LinkedIn is just like Facebook. Only boring.
I just went over there to view my profile (which is hilarious, BTW), and found out that you can post shit in a flowing news stream just like Facebook. WTF?
So now I’m thinking, “Was I supposed to be sharing my blog posts over THERE, too?” My instant reaction is FUCK THAT NOISE.
And after that, I’m thinking, “Wait. I’m already shunning Pinterest because images aren’t my bag, baby. And I’m shunning StumbleUpon because they are asshats (more on that in a future Monday post). Can I really afford to shun another platform?”
The answer is in my heart. Which is to say, “Nah, man. Nah.”
Look, people. If I was trying to get all professional up in here, then YEAH, I could see pursuing a LinkedIn presence. I guess. Whatever.
But the truth is, I’m NOT professional. I’m a fucked up girl who likes to pretend that glitter is in my air space. I do recommend you go check out my profile (my name is Andi Brunett), because it’s kind of hilarious, but if you decide to skip it, that’s okay, too. Henceforth, I’ma skip it as well.
Unless my hubz makes me go do things over there, too. But he’s having a difficult enough time just getting me to write. I don’t see him adding any extra duties.