Why All This Talk of FEAR? (Part 1)
This originally started out as a single blog post, but has morphed turned into a two-parter. I don’t like doing that, because it sounds like I’m trying to be all cliff-hanger-ish and slightly manipulative in a business-y kind of way. I promise, I’m not trying to keep you hanging. I just happen to have a lot to say — too much for one blog post — and I like even less the idea of cutting this short when I don’t have to since no one else is the boss of me.
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion,
for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
I have read A LOT of blogs covering the topic of FEAR lately.
And by “A LOT”, I mean more than five. Which isn’t very much compared to how many pairs of socks I own (well over five, I assure you), but *IS* a lot compared to how many cars I own (one). In terms of reading blog posts, I think this is a very high number, because reading blogs takes up a goodly portion of my time.
But there were more than five.
You guys, I specifically read SEVEN posts regarding the topic of FEAR in the last two months. This number, when compared to five (which we just agreed is A LOT), means I have encountered the topic of FEAR a fucking SHIT TON of times in the span of two lunar cycles. Apparently FEAR is really big right now.
I don’t get it. What are you all scared of, you big babies? Your shadows? It’s not even Halloween. What a punch of wusses.
I hope you’re not scared of bees.
I am reminded of the time I walked a Civil War trail with my husband, when suddenly a wild swarm of bees appeared. There were coming right for us! My brave, darling husband ran away, leaving me to my own defenses and screaming from a mile behind him, “Wait for me! The bees are gonna get me!”
So are you all afraid of bees, too? If yes, well, please know I hate you. Getting left behind to face the bees all alone is utter SHIT, and I won’t stand for it.
“It’s just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head…” Metallica, anyone?
Anyway, I’m kidding.
Not about the bees — that crap really happened, and I really do hate you if you’re scared of them. I *AM* kidding when I ask you what you’re so afraid of — you know, FEAR. I’m aware you all aren’t afraid of some concrete beast hiding under your bed, unless it’s a metaphorical beast, in which case, YES, that is in fact EXACTLY what you are scared of.
But we’re not going there. Andi-Roo doesn’t do monsters, real or metaphorical.
FEAR: It’s all in your stupid brain.
Not like, “You’re so mental, you should be locked up in an asylum, you crazy clown!”
The fear I’m reading about is much more abstract than that.
It’s fear of success, and fear of failure, and fear of moving on, and fear of standing still, and fear of life, and fear of death.
It sounds a bit ridiculous when I spell it all out here like this.
But it’s not. It’s not ridiculous, and it’s not funny. It’s daunting.
And that’s why so many people are tackling this broad topic right now. There is an awfully large amount of FEAR running around loose in the world right now. That in itself is scary.
Following is a grocery list of items which I have learned about in my readings on the topic of FEAR:
1. Live in the NOW.
Stop asking “why” something “bad” happened to you. There is no need to keep re-living a shitty moment in life. Move on, and, if it does crop up now and again against your will, just be grateful it’s over.
The hardest part of Living in the NOW and not letting FEAR keep you stuck in the past, reliving your terror and confused how such horror could befall, is remembering that after you let the FEAR go, it’s going to return at some point.
Justine reminds us, “Things fall apart and come together and fall apart and come together. Then they fall apart again.” So the work is not in letting go of the FEAR.
The work is in letting it go… AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGAIN.
Focusing on the NOW keeps you distracts you from worrying about the future… which is truly the time in which all FEAR resides.
Author Edwin Harkness Spina wrote an excellent article on FEAR in which he states, “By repeated experience, warriors come to know that fear dissolves with conscious action.”
Keep in mind, you don’t have to “do all the things”.
One baby step will do just fine.
As the fine ladies at
The Dao of Doing Women Making Changes say,“The key to doing ANYTHING is doing SOMETHING.”
Roo Mulligan suggests in her article “Small Steps to Help You Act In Spite of Your Fear”:
“When you take small steps, allow yourself to pause, speak kindly to yourself, and take educated action, you can learn to act in spite of your fear.”
Be sure to join me tomorrow for Part 2 of this wacko series on FEAR. And tell me — do you live in the NOW? Or are you struck dumb with FEAR? I’d love to hear from you!