WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #1:
Depression sucks, as does self-sabotage. You know this as well as I do, but I felt it was time to restate these facts given that they have such great bearing on my life. Fuck those things, ya know? I hate them.
My hubz made a sad, yet hilarious, discovery when examining my blog chart ups-n-downs. There is a better phrase for what that represents, but I can’t think of it right now. You get me, though. Anyway, he noticed a pattern. A cycle. Yes… a CYCLE. As in, the THAT cycle. My stupid bloggy-blog’s highs-n-lows mirrors my menstrual cycle. You can tell when I’m bogged down with PMS, because my stats reflect that quite clearly. And now, on top of knowing WHEN I’m at my worst, the whole world gets to know WHY I’m at my worst.
Oh, that God of yours… He’s a right funny fellow. I’m chortling with amusement right about now.
WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #2:
— Assignment Conclusion: A Review —
I have completed (or attempted, or at least considered) exactly (approximately) sixteen Happiness Project Assignments now. That is FOUR months of active (or at least half-assed) attention toward increasing my personal joy. With only two Wednesdays left in the year, I felt it was time for (a) an assessment of my progress (if any); (b) a new plan henceforth; and (c) a break from Gretchen.
Without further ado, here is the entire four-month project laid out for inspection. I’ll see if I can get the hubz to set this up as a sort of Landing Page for my Happiness Project so that anyone interested in jumping aboard after-the-fact has all the links in one organized location. That’d be nifty of me, eh? You see what I did there, right? If it doesn’t come to pass, it’s not my fault, because I totally thought of it and the hubz failed to implement it. Likewise, if it DOES come to pass, I get the credit for a great idea, even though he will have done the work.
HA! Andi-Roo FTW!
Assessment = Done / FAIL.
Done = Discuss completion.
FAIL = Discuss next week.
Happiness Project Assignment # 1: Create your own Commandments. Done!
And in re-reading them, I find they all still apply. Which is gravy, because I printed them on a lovely piece of scrapbook paper and decorated that stuff right-good. Then I framed it and put it up on the wall. Just kidding, it’s not framed, because I am ass at that sort of thing. So it’s not framed. But it *IS* in a document protector, and it *IS* on my wall. So there’s that.
- Happy is a choice, so pick it and get there.
- The key to doing anything is doing something.
- Make it better, or make it worse.
- Identify flaws & act accordingly.
- Just show up.
- Don’t stop starting.
- Always be yourself, even at great cost.
- Just do it — by which I mean, NOW.
- Speak as gently to yourself as you would to a child.
- Do the Work.
- Sing; don’t worry if it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear.
- “It ain’t gotta be perfect!”
- Perfection is the enemy of progress and productivity.
- “The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.”
- Tomorrow is another day — this too shall pass.
- Everything will be okay.
- Catastrophe now makes a great story later.
- Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
- Take care of you.
Happiness Project Assignment #2: Adopt a symbol for yourself and your Happiness Project. Done!
I’m my mama’s sunshine. Have some!
Happiness Project Assignment #3: Have More Fun! Done!
I sing when I want, even if it’s front of people. I go bowling with my family and fail to faint from embarrassment. I throw darts at my parents’ house and rather than cringe from mortification, I crack up if I fail to even hit the board. It’s okay to look stupid, because when you’re having fun, you don’t look stupid. You look fun. DUH. Also? I continue having fun by avoiding things that AREN’T fun (like boats, horses, matching up socks, and diet anything).
Happiness Project #4: Identify Triggers. Done!
I get angry when people are assholes. I feel guilty when neglecting my kids for my computer-ish job, or when neglecting my computer-ish job for my kids. I also feel guilty that I can’t do more financially for my kids, and that some of my relatives are Republican. I am envious of other women who seem to make friends so easily since it is just about impossible for me. And here’s one I forgot to mention: I get salty when someone with WAY more resources than I gets all boo-hoo-ish about their lack of such. I’m all, “STFU, Asshole!”
Happiness Project Assignment #4 (YEP, I HAD TWO #4s. I AM OFFICIALLY AN IDIOT): Find a place of refuge. Done!
“Find your happy place.”
“Calm down and count to ten.”
“Take a breather.”
In my email account, my favorite folder is one called “Happyz”. Taking a moment to remember all the kind messages saved in my Happyz file serves as my (mental) place of refuge.
Happiness Project Assignment #5: Go Outside. Done!
I made much more of an effort to get some sunshine while it was warm, and I just told my hubz last night that I need to remember to do that during the winter even though it is supposed to get super-dee-duper cold at some point which has not yet occurred. Matter of fact, I’ma head out right now. Be back in fifteen…
Happiness Project Assignment #6: Find Your Own Koan. Done!
My personal Koan to ponder: “The destination is in the journey.”
Happiness Project Assignment #7: Choose a Theme Song. Done!
Simon & Garfunkle’s “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)” is a ditty that cheers me up like no other. It’s my go-to song which cheers me up in times of caca-explosion.
Happiness Project Assignment #8: Read THE HOW OF HAPPINESS: A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH TO GETTING THE LIFE YOU WANT, by Sonja Lyubomirsky. Done!
And it’s a great book, so if you’re interested in increasing your own level of happiness, I urge you to read it, too.
Happiness Project Assignment #9: Make a list. Done!
I already mentioned my Personal Commandments. Other lists I maintain: my daily to-do agenda; books within series (what I own versus what I still “need” in order to complete the set); ideas for my bloggy-blog; bday / Christmas gifts to purchase for the fam; CDs and audio books I want to check out from the library at some point; and the groceries we buy most often so I can just circle what’s needed any time we head to the store — which isn’t very often anymore as we mostly order from Amazon Prime because shopping sucks major donkey ballz.
Happiness Project Assignment #10: Join or Form a Group. FAIL.
Happiness Project Assignment #11: Just Show Up. FAIL.
Happiness Project Assignment #12: Quarterly Recap. Done!
Not actually an assignment so much as a check-in which I decided I need to do every three months or so, to ensure I stay on target.
Assignment #13: Identify the Problem. Done!
One of my Personal Commandments is to “Identify flaws & act accordingly.” So this is something I already try to do. It really helps.
Assignment #14: Track a project’s Before & After. FAIL.
Assignment #15: Shield Your Joyous Ones. FAIL.
Assignment #16: Set a Target. Done!
On Saturdays I have been working through making a Life Plan, part of which is going to entail the settings of “targets” and whatnot.
So there they are, all sixteen (seventeen) of the Happiness Project Assignments I attempted. Next week I will take a closer look at my FAILs, what I intend to do about them, and what challenge I plan to take on in 2013 to keep me motivated toward finding more joy in my life.
WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #3:
— MY WIPPY-DOODLE! —
I wouldn’t say I’m ending Round 4 of #ROW80 with a bang, but nor am I finishing with a sad little fizzle. Maybe somewhere in between. I’m not where I’d like to be, but further than I’ve ever been. I’ll take that.
I didn’t get to spend my two hours on my work-in-progress this past week, much to my chagrin. However, I have been working through some plots in my mind — to the point that last night I seriously dreamed about one of my main characters and realized what he is looking for isn’t what I thought it was. I’ve never been quite so attached to my creations, to the point of distraction. This particular guy is so often on my mind, I can practically picture him, and I have definitely nailed his voice.
My antagonist, too, has become quite clear, though I have yet to write his part out since I’m not “there” yet. I understand his motives, which I hope will garner some sympathy from readers, and I see what mistakes he has made.
The only thing I have worked out completely is whether or not there will be a romance. Part of me thinks, “Yes, OF COURSE there will be a romance! What story is complete without ROMANCE?” But then I start plotting it out in my mind and nothing works.
So I come back to NO. I don’t think there will be a romance. I’m looking more at a potential bro-mance, and a coming of age, and a male-female platonic friendship sort of thing. Physical and emotional journey, search for the Golden Fleece, escape from danger… lots of action and dialogue.
See? Told you it’s been on my mind. Now I have to JUST SHOW UP and DO THE WORK.
WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #4:
BONUS MATERIAL —
We have been reading Christmas books:
THE LEGEND OF OLD BEFANA by Tomie De Paola
THE CURIOUS LITTLE KITTEN’S FIRST CHRISTMAS by Linda Hayward
THE NUTCRACKER BALLET retold by Deborah Hautzig
THE WILD CHRISTMAS REINDEER by Jan Brett
First Question: Dec. 19, 2012
#13: How has your year of 2012 been?
My hubz and I decided every year to adopt a motto since we kind of suck at keeping resolutions. This year, 2012, was supposed to be “The Year of Everything New!” I won’t say we’ve been off the mark, but it certainly didn’t go the way we expected or planned!
In January I stopped working outside the home, which barely impacted our income since I spent most of what I earned on gas to get back-n-forth, along with other work-related expenses. So staying home, after several years of working at a job I truly enjoyed, was a treat that required a huge mental adaptation. One thing we didn’t foresee was our second car ka-sploding, so not only am I home all day, but now I’m being held captive. As a self-professed hermit, I’m not complaining overly much. I only miss being able to drive places during the day because I specifically know I CAN’T — kind of like when you are devoid of itches until you stick your hands in the sink to do dishes, and suddenly, now that your hands are wet, your noses itches all over, and of course it’s impossible to scratch without getting water everywhere, so you try to rub your nose against your sleeve but that never works. So I only want a second vehicle because my nose itches. Or something.
Something else new this year involved the building of our bloggy-blog and my decision to dedicate time toward writing my novel. Both endeavors have proven to be both rich in benefits as well as fraught with frustration. On the one hand, the blog has provided an outlet for my anger and depression issues, and has brought my hubz and me closer as we work on this project together. And adding to my painfully slow-going novel has lent me wings I didn’t even know I was missing. But they take up time, and they make it difficult to prioritize when it comes to household chores.
Ah, the house. That’s a whole separate can of worms. We thought we were moving, and then we weren’t, and then we were again, but now we’re not. Hopefully. Kind of hopefully. Not totally hopefully. We were looking forward to starting over afresh and getting rid of a lot of our collective crap. Now it’ll be that much more difficult. And our house will no longer be in our name, whether we stay or not, because someone else is taking over the mortgage. It’s all a bit hazy from here.
With regards to nuclear family, our year has been most excellent. Watching our son grow into an adult has been an amazing experience, and our small daughter adds daily to our joy. Our marriage has sealed itself into an ultra-tight bond. As for extended family, bridges have been built and crossed, amends have been made, and that which was torn asunder has been woven back together. That definitely qualifies as “Everything New”. Usually it feels as though things are falling apart. This past year, through financial hardship and all that comes with it, it feels as though everything came together. I would say then, overall, 2012 hasn’t been half-bad. If 2013 comes anywhere close to the highs I experienced this past year, I will think myself quite lucky.
And that’s what’s up Wenzday.
Hope your Hump-Day is full of hump-ish good times.
I’d love to hear what’s up with YOUR Wenzday!
And if you are also participating in the 13-Day 2013 Countdown Challenge, please be sure to share your response in the comments section below.