Social Media + Blogging Schedules
My hubz and I got into this huge discussion today about the necessity for keeping to a schedule with regard to publishing blog posts. You can probably guess from my typical blasé approach that I was taking the “Fuck it” route. As the Numbers Guy behind my bloggy-blog, my hubz was all for the “Stay on Target” approach. The conversation may, or may NOT, have gotten slightly heated.
Okay, I’ll just tell you now so you don’t have to guess. It didn’t get too heated. But my hubz is extremely frustrated with me. Since he is the Numbers Guy, I grant that he has reason to be less than thrilled. As the writer, and moreover the person who doesn’t give a shit about numbers, I can totally empathize with his plight. He’s definitely got the rotten end of the stick in this blogging gig we’re working on together.
Here’s how the talk went down:
“You know, Babes,” I, the breaker of all rules, say. “I have an idea for Monday’s post.”
“Hey, that’s great, considering you were already supposed to have it written LAST WEEK.”
“Shut up and listen,” I, lazy-ass couch potato, say. “You know how on Mondays I kind of talk about, like, social media kinds of things?”
“No. I didn’t realize you had any sort of schedule in any way whatsoever. This is all news to me. I pretty much thought you wrote whatever you wanted on whatever day you wanted, planning be damned.”
He is kind of, mostly, right.
“That is so not true,” I, biggest scatter brain on the planet, say. “I do stick to a schedule. Anyway, I want to write about the BIG LIE that social media experts tell.”
“What lie would that be, my darling liar?”
“I am totally not a liar,” I, totally a liar, say. “Stop interrupting before I forget what I was saying.”
“One could only hope.”
“I heard that, and fuck you, too, buddy,” I, master of words, say. “The BIG LIE that social media experts tell is this: You have to stay on a schedule, and you have to deliver certain items on certain days, and readers should know what to expect from your blog, and blah-blah-blah. It’s so untrue.”
“Actually, that’s not a lie at all. It IS true. You just flaunt the rules because you don’t care about numbers. But honestly, I do wish you would keep to more of a schedule. It would make my life so much easier.”
“You’re wrong,” I, all expert and smug now, say. “Here’s why you’re wrong. If I have a series that’s supposed to go out every Saturday… for example, My Life Plan series—”
“Here we go.”
“What? What is that? What are you trying to say?” I, defensive because I know exactly what he’s trying to say, say.
“Nothing. Just that, you know, you didn’t get your Saturday post out on Saturday. And now suddenly you’re coming up with some supposedly snazzy new social media theory to excuse the fact that you dropped the ball. And moreover, that you drop the ball regularly. Which is fine, Babes. Because it’s your blog, and you can do whatever you want with it. But—”
“Okay, first, you’re right. I did drop the ball. But it doesn’t matter,” I, the person who drops multiple balls regularly, say. “Because second, it’s my blog. Just like you said. But that’s not the point. The point is, anyone who was following that series was going to read my posts REGARDLESS of when they come out.”
“You interrupted me, and you are also full of shit, darling.”
“No-No-No,” I, ball-dropping enthusiast, say. “I’m not full of shit. Just listen. Nobody plans their schedule around one stupid blog. Just like nobody plans their evenings anymore around one stupid TV show. That’s what DVR is for, or Netflix, or Hulu, or Amazon Prime, or any number of other ways to watch shit after it’s already aired. Anybody seriously emotionally invested in my blog is either subscribed or is checking in as time allows — but not on a regular schedule.”
“Okay, but what if you are writing a series that a Republican actually finds interesting? And that’s the only reason he is following your blog — only because of that ONE series. And you go a week without following up, and then you go two weeks. He is totally going to hit unsubscribe to your blog.”
“No respectable Republican would EVER subscribe to my blog, regardless of the series, so that argument is stupid,” I, argumentative bitch, say. “Besides, that Republican was going to unsubscribe at the end of the series anyway, as soon as he found out what a Liberal cunt I am. So I wouldn’t really have lost a follower due to my lack of scheduling so much as because he’s an asshole who doesn’t like my shit.”
“But he hit unsubscribe sooner than he might have, and you just lost the potential of one or two weeks of free advertising, because let’s say he liked that series so much that he was sharing it with others.”
“Bullshit. I call bullshit,” I, starting to get heated, say. “There is no way a Republican was sharing my shit. He wouldn’t do that no matter HOW much he liked that series.”
“Oh my god. You are missing the bigger picture here.”
“No, I’m not,” I, a small picture kind of girl, say. “I just know that there aren’t any Republicans sharing my posts, who would suddenly STOP sharing just because I sent out one of my posts later than scheduled. And also? I don’t know a single person, Republican or otherwise, who says, ‘Gee, it’s Saturday. Time to check in and see what Andi-Roo wrote in that series today!’ You know why? Because DVR, that’s why.”
“What about readers who are less savvy? Not everyone knows how to subscribe to blogs, and not everyone knows how to use a reader to do so. THEY might check in on certain days.”
“No way,” I, emphatic to the end, say. “If they are savvy enough to find my blog, they are savvy enough to find it again another day. Plus, if they aren’t savvy enough to do those other things, they also aren’t savvy enough to realize that I’m ‘supposed’ to be on a schedule.”
“You are impossible. And wrong. Schedules do matter, and you should stick to one. But it’s okay that you don’t. I realize your lack of scheduling is just part of who you are.”
“That sounds patronizing,” I, a girl who hates being patted on the head, say. “Are you just placating me to end the argument? If you are, then I totally win.”
“I’m not placating you. There’s just no winning with you, because you will always come up with a reason to NOT stick to a schedule. So, just keep doing your thing. Whatever.”
“I will,” I, a wife totally in love with my hubz, say. “So can I write about this for Monday? Since that’s my social media day?”
“You do whatever you want. You always do.”
And that’s how the discussion ended. See? No violence or anything. A resolution was never reached, however, and this bothers me. I want someone to say that I am right on this subject. Anyone out there agree with me? Or is my hubz totally right?