What kind of a moron doesn’t pass a school levy?
A douchebag, that’s the kind of moron I’m talking about up in here. A selfish, piece of shit asshole incapable of long-term thinking. A dumb-dumb who has no understanding of what makes a decent neighborhood. A homeowner who doesn’t give a crap about his neighbors.
You might not have been able to tell, so I will spell this out for you: I am so pissed.
Yeah, the school levy for the district to which our kids belong did not pass. You wanna know why that is? It’s because I live in a RED area, that’s why. Jack-wagons who vote RIGHT. These are the same sons-of-bitches who sat outside the high school, exactly 100 feet out, where some of the voting took place. These white guys with their fucking NRA hats, trying to intimidate people into voting Republican because OMG SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRY AND TAKE AWAY THEIR GUNS EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT EVEN ANYTHING OBAMA EVER TALKED ABOUT OR CARES ABOUT OR HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH.
Red-neck, racist, pick-up truck driving motherfuckers. They want their guns, they want every penny to stay in their shitty pockets, they want to boss women around, and they want their streets free of potholes which is supposed to happen magically with the taxes they refuse to pay.
Okay, Andi-Roo. Take a breath. You see why I skipped out on my Happiness Project this week? I’m not feeling it right now. Yes, I won the election (my team belongs to me, ergo I am the winner, duh). But the things we have to fight for should be *SO* last century, I can’t keep my brain from exploding into bits of fury. The only glitter I’m seeing currently is the sparkly stuff that floats before my eyes as a scream out in frustration.
So let me start again.
Dear Homeowners of Farmersville,
I hate you.
I suppose that’s not really very convincing. I may, or may not, have failed in the fine art of persuasive writing. I don’t have time for that shit. I shouldn’t have to convince you of something that is logical. You should have a fucking brain and see it for yourself. There shouldn’t have to be a discussion. You should just not be stupid.
But okay, one more time.
If you own a home, you automatically have a vested interest in keeping the neighborhood safe and pretty and good for all Joneses across America. Right?
Part of that means paying taxes. I know, I know. Paying taxes sucks. Nobody likes it. But look at it as club dues. You belong to the America club. And then on a smaller scale, you belong to whatever state you live in club. And then locally, you belong to your city club. And you want your club to be the BEST, right? The shiniest club available! You want your club to beat all other clubs at club-types of things.
Or maybe you don’t give a shit how well your city club fares against other city clubs. That’s fair. I only care about the surrounding city clubs where I’m at because I have family spread out over various school districts. Otherwise, I’m right there with you, Bub. Fuck ‘em.
So not worrying about OTHER city clubs, you totally want your city club to stay in good shape. No fair complaining about how the club dues are being spent if you haven’t actually taken the time to read the budget. If you are on the committee, or you attend board meetings, or you regularly get involved somehow with your city club goings-on, then YES — you are allowed to complain. I’m betting every single one of you assholes has no fucking idea what’s going on in your city club. You just know you want all the good stuff like t-shirts and club perks without having to pay any dues. Because you’re selfish like that. But I already went over that bit.
One of the ways you can tell a city club is in good shape is by looking at things like its schools, its library, it crime rates, and its trash pick-up schedule. If all those things are pretty and awesome-sauce and glitterific, then you know you have picked a winner. Obviously, if those things are ugly and crap-tastic, you should give it a pass.
Once you join the city club, it’s up to you, as a member, to contribute to its upkeep. Otherwise, how about you get the fuck out? Or… no, just get the fuck out.
Look, I can’t continue in my nice tone of voice where I pretend you’re a child and I’m explaining things to you that even my 2nd grader could figure out. I’m done. You didn’t pass the levy, you suck, and I hate you. So do me a favor, and just get the fuck out.