I love me a theme park, and Kings Island is the shizzle!
The only thing better than a theme park is when it’s practically on-the-house, or at least already paid for. We celebrated Father’s Day this weekend with a combo of the two. Having already purchased our son a Kings Island Season Gold Pass, he gave me a Two-Day Pass he had received as a graduation gift. *and there was much throwing of glitter!*
Oh, Happy Day!
Kings Island celebrated daddies everywhere by declaring it “Bring a Buddy for $9.99 Day!” The little one was on vaca with her other dad, so this seemed the perfect time and the perfect price to hit some nasty coasters! Kings Island, here we come! *woot*
The day started innocently enough.
Our crew seldom has a plan, so there was no set time to arrive — hit the road for the hour-long drive whenever we feel like it, get there whenever we get there, and figure out what we want to ride after we’re inside. This is how we live life, people. We fly by the seats of our collective pantses. Kings Island is no exception.
And had to stop for late breakfast / early lunch (what the hobbits call “Elevensies”). Then had to stop again for Dramamine and sun screen. Mommy gets sick on rides and Daddy gets burnt up in the sun. We all have our faults. I think we finally walked in the gates at like 1pm. HELLO, KINGS ISLAND! Goodbye, sunshine. It started to rain, washing off all my well-placed sun screen. *sigh*
Bright side. Silver Lining. Positivity. Making Lemonade.
Rain means most people will leave, right?
That’s what we hoped.
Before we could get our ride on, however, we had some business to transact. The boy wanted to upgrade his Gold Pass to a Platinum Pass, using some of his grad money. It came to $79.01. This is relevant because the boy gave cashier-kid a $50, a $20, and a $10. Cashier-kid had to count those three bills more than five times. He didn’t understand how to make them be $80. Then, apparently cashier-kid didn’t know how to count back change. Because instead of counting back three quarters, two dimes, and four pennies (to total the $0.99 due back), cashier-kid pulled out two rolls of pennies and gave that to us as change. I shit you not. Well played, Kings Island, well played.
Kings Island LIED to Me!
Let me back up here a bit. The night before Father’s Day I wrote a Tweet as follows:
And danged if Kings Island didn’t Tweet me right back:
I was uber-impressed by their speed and customer service. Because I am easily pleased by kind words and fun happenings. Of which this message was clearly BOTH.
But guess what? The crowd might have been thinned somewhat due to rain… but the daggone Diamondback was closed due to rain, too! This wouldn’t be such a big deal if not for the fact that I still haven’t had a chance to ride it yet.
*booo* Where goes my glitter, Kings Island?
We ended up only being able to ride two coasters before (a) I wanted to toss my cookies, and (b), the boy was hungry again. (Kings Island rides for the win.)
The Beast was excellent fun — lots of bouncing around and feeling like it’s going to run right off its wooden tracks. It enters a couple dark tunnels and seems like you’re not quite going to make it without getting the top of your skull shaved off. It plummets from great heights and loops sideways. LOVED IT! (Video clip of the scariest part of this ride)
The Flight of Fear, however, kicked my ass. I acknowledge that it accomplished what it set out to do — take off is swift and can cause whiplash if your head isn’t already mashed back into the seat, and then it runs through the dark flipping upside down and trying really heard to drop you from your seat. I cried on this one. It couldn’t end fast enough. Great ride, just not for me.
The only complaint I have about our day at Kings Island is the several douche-nuggets who felt it was okay to smoke in line. I am a smoker, okay? But not in the house, not in the car, not around the kids, and not in a fucking crowded area filled with kids stuck in a queue that isn’t moving. Some lady suggested we sneeze on them, and I wish someone more brave than I had done so. After looking at the hussy-looking bitches lighting up, though, I’m pretty sure they’d have started a cat-fight, and I ain’t looking to have my face rearranged by the likes of some white-trash pieces of crap. As soon as they put out theirs, some scary biker-gang a-hole in front of us lit up. Then two black guys right behind us. Seriously. WTF is wrong with people???
Overall, our time at Kings Island was excellent, and I hope we have a chance to go back again this summer — especially with our small fry, so I have an excuse to skip the scary rides!