“Oh, you’re so lucky — you’re going to be staying at the hotel right next to the stadium where the Bieb is performing! I hope you get to see him” This came from the mouth of a young female student at my last place of employment.
“What the fuck is a ‘Beeb’?” I didn’t ask, as I relished keeping my job. But I really, really wanted to know. I kind of still do.
That was my first encounter with the name of teen pop-star Justin Bieber.
I didn’t know it was a person, and I didn’t know to what his fame was attributed, and I didn’t know why I should care that this unidentified fruity object would be in the close-quartered range the coming weekend.
My mom has this soft sound she makes when her mind has already moved on to something more worthy of her attention, and I emulated this in hopes to appear above it all: “Mmm-mmmm” I also made a mental note to book a date with Google. I hate not knowing shit that kids know. I will know ALL the shit, thank you very much.
As with so many things I don’t understand, I just smiled and nodded. I made the “Mmm-mmmm” sound again, and for good measure added, “Neat.” Dead giveaway — only old people use that word. Fuck me. I should have said “Sweet!” or “That’s sick!” Anything but “Neat.” on the plus side, the kid finally wandered off so I could get my interwebz search on.
Okay, so as we all surely know by now, the “Bieb” was a young Canadian singer-boy with bad hair. And so, Justin Bieber came into my life.
Just. Like. That.
I don’t like boy bands.
Remember NKOTB? Yeah, except for ONE song, which I sang over and over again, I was acutely embarrassed by them. And that ONE song? Wasn’t even one of their singles, or hits, or whatever those are that get played on the radio repetitively, almost without cease, till you want to throw a brick through the speakers. It wasn’t “Hangin’ Tough”, and it wasn’t that crappy falsetto bullshit “Please Don’t Go Girl”, which still makes me wrinkle up in consternation. It was… so romantic… and not all high-pitched… ready for it?
“I Need You”.
Also, the voice-over at the end… Just… nooooooo…
Anyway, I wasn’t about the boy-band thing even when I was at the appropriate age for boy-band-wagoning. I’ve really always been more about the girl singers. I think because I secretly wished I was Tiffany singing live in front of a mall audience, or Debbie Gibson belting it out over a piano. I’m still more about the girl-singers today. I’m sure a round of karaoke would take care of that ASAP, but I can never convince anyone to come try it with me. #BucketList
I vaguely recall some controversy between *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. When pressed by the younger generation I usually went with the first, but only because I was slightly more familiar with their songs. And then when Justin Timberlake went solo, I felt somehow vindicated for picking the right one, because OH BOY am I a huge (HUGE) fan of his!
But even at that, I was a way bigger fan of Britney Spears than I was of any of the boys. I’m scared there’s a flaming liberal femi-nazi blazing away inside. But then I remember my Breastfeeding post and I feel better. Anyone who asks women to put away their boobs is obviously NOT a flaming liberal femi-nazi.
Look, I don’t know why I like the girl singers better, okay? Just stop bugging me about it.
So I looked up Justin Bieber to make sure I had the right person in mind, and YIKES! He still has the same stupid hair, only now it’s different same-stupid-hair, if that makes any sense. It’s just always going all these weird, unnatural directions. And his face hasn’t changed in like five years. That’s just creepy.
Then I got all sad, because I saw that he is dating Selena Gomez, whom I find adorable and talented. But I was happy, too, because I know who Selena Gomez is. Which made me sad all over again. *sigh*
This is much less controversial than my original topic planned for the letter “J”, but I decided to give Jesus a break and go with something a bit more tame.
That’s right — I chose Justin Bieber over Jesus. Ah! There’s the controversy we were all looking for!
So the Bieb. Love him? Or hate him? I find I’m mildly indifferent.
AtoZ August 2012 — A Month of Controversy
Throughout the money of August 2012, my dear friend Aaron @dadblunders and I are doing a dry run of the Blogging From A to Z Challenge. This past April was my first official participation in such activity, and I had no idea what I was doing. No theme, no forethought, purely spur-of-the-moment. This time around, I have a plan. Join the fun!
For this event, I am engaging in a month of controversy. Consider yourself forewarned.