This is a post from my new series WHAT’S UP, WENZDAY?
This will happen every Wednesday as part of my ROW80 weekly check-in.
It’s still pretty God damn funny, though.
It’s not really Wednesday yet, but I plan to run a lot. Maybe.
It’s difficult to do a check-in for a date that is still a week in the future. I’m tempted to be overly generous and say something like, “Oh yeah, I totally KILLED that treadmill beast, putting in some time every day this week!” It could totally happen. You don’t know.
Tip for bookies: You can bet on NO work from me on the bathroom tiles.
As for organizing the house, I could be even MORE overly generous and announce that I ABSOLUTELY got the tiles stuck down on the bathroom floor. It’s really not very likely, but there is always a slim chance in hellz that it will happen. In an alternate universe. By someone else. Bite me.
No additions to savings here this week, and I’m pretty sure there won’t be by WenzDay, so I’m not even going to lie and pretend it could happen. BUT, there are some plans in the works which I can’t get into at the moment. Just be happy in the knowledge that things are looking up for the Andi-Roo clan.
I wasn’t (or won’t be) a completely useless douche.
But my writing — oh, there it is! Yeah, I’m totally on it! I have been adding three-page sections daily, building up chapters. And I cleaned up a section which I’m sending to a couple other writers from my critique group for further feedback. So even though I haven’t actually done the days yet this week, I can confidently state here and now that I will have NO problem increasing my word count by WenzDay.
I thought it might be fun to write a letter to Future Andi-Roo, because I haven’t met her yet, and I’m sure she’s a pretty swanky broad, based on what I know of myself now versus how much I will grow in the next few days.
Dear Future Andi-Roo,
I am writing from your past, which is my present moment. This might all seem a bit confusing, but I know you will have an even better understanding of this phenomenon than I, given you will have already endured the circumstances. At any rate, I have a few things I’d like you to know.
Having committed you to writing and running daily between now and Wednesday, I shall be quite cross if you fail to come through on this. Don’t make me look the fool, Future Andi-Roo. Nobody likes a lazy couch potato!
and be tempted to blame the boys. Don’t do it. I ate them. So when you see the package in the trash, don’t get upset and start hollering about how you never get to eat the last one of anything, because on this one, you will be wrong. I intend to eat the entire fucking bag myself.
I want to give you my sincere thanks for all the hard work I know you will be doing between now and whenever you read this note. There are several boxes of books to organize, shelves to dust, carpets to vacuum, and clothes to put away upstairs. I don’t know how you plan to accomplish all this, since from my laid back position in the past, all I intend to do is snooze. You are truly a force to be reckoned with, Future Andi-Roo. You must be magical. I wish I knew NOW what you will know THEN.
PS. I hope you have heard back from Morgan Freeman by WenzDay, because from back here he still has not written. I’m beginning to think his staff is hiding my messages, because I just know Morgan would not ignore me. Morgan Freeman staffers: You are some serious a-holes!
PPS. If you have not yet gotten in touch with Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, don’t forget she still owes you 50-cents in overdue library fines for her hilarious book which was too frigging fabulous to return on time.
What requests would you make of Future You? And what reminders would you want Future You to receive? It’s hard being all back here in the past, isn’t it? Go ahead, tell me all about it in the comments.