It’s Fracking Friday
We decided I need to find a cause to get up under, because that’s what grownups do. Everyone knows you haven’t made it BIG until you defend someone smaller than yourself. Well, not necessarily smaller. Just maybe more defensible-ish. Something that needs defending. Something you can really get behind with all your might. Hopefully nothing expensive, though, because I’m seriously strapped for cash.
“Free of Beatings” Friday? No.
I thought about defending abused teens, but I’ve already been that route, and frankly, abused teens are so yesterday. *yawn*
Plus? They come with all this emotional baggage, and preconceived notions about the world, and manipulative ploys and all these fucking NEEDS. It’s insane the amount of psychological damage that needs to be fixed. I’m just trying to figure myself out and keep my family straight. Guess I’m selfish that way. I don’t have it in me to take on any more mental cases beyond that which currently reside in my cozy-but-cluttered casa.
Find-a-Kitten Friday? No.
A shelter for kittens seemed nice, because — as Heinlein pointed out in less vulgar terms — you’re a douche if you don’t go for cats. But since we already have the best cat on the planet, I can’t honestly say I give a shit about other animals any more. Sorry, felines. Maybe if you ALL grow thumbs like my Dagny, I’ll be inclined to care. Till then, stay out of my garbage cans.
“How you behave toward cats here below
determines your status in Heaven.”
My hubz just reminded me that those are not cats climbing into our garbage cans. Those are raccoons. Who seem to have thumb-like little nubs which allow them to remove lids and strew trash all about my yard, thereby rendering me “Worst Mom Ever” because I have yesterday’s take-out containers tossed all over the place. And everyone knows that a clean yard clearly makes you a better human being.
*rolls eyes*… riiiiiiiiiiight.
None of the above.
So anyway, fuck kids and cats who aren’t already mine. And fuck raccoons just on principle.
Fracking Friday? YES.
Our cause shall henceforth be motherfucking Fracking. Just like that, too, because it’s been a long time since I pulled “motherfucker” out the box.
Introducing my new once-a-month series “Fracking Friday!”
And just in case you can’t remember what the fuck motherfucking Fracking is all about, allow me to quote myself quoting the dictionary:
“a process in which fractures in rocks
below the earth’s surface
are opened and widened
by injecting chemicals and liquids
at high pressure;
used especially to extract natural gas or oil.”
“… which causes earthquakes, releases toxins into our water supply, adds a krillion steps to our already overwhelming carbon footprint, and takes away land to line the pockets of Corporate America…” the definition fails to mention. But it’s all true. This shit happens.
The person you want to be following, if you’re interested in stopping this egregious earth-humping bull crap, is Josh Fox ( @gaslandmovie ). He put together a very enlightening horror / documentary explaining the process and its catastrophic results. The Oscar-nominated film is called GASLAND and is a must see if you are to fully appreciate Fracking Friday updates.
A follow-up film called THE SKY IS PINK is available on youtube, and is invaluable in pumping up your “Frell Hydraulic Fracking” feelings.
So, now you’ve had an introductory crash course on Fracking, and I will see you about a month from now when I post my next Fracking Friday update.
Wait — one question before I go — have any of you (or do you know anyone personally who has been) personally impacted by motherfucking Fracking? Please share! I’d love to hear all about it, and might even incorporate your comment into a future article.