That’s right, kids.
Fracking Friday, much like a menstrual cycle, arrives monthly!
“Fracking Friday” appears the first Friday of each month (or thereabouts) and I discuss what kind of fruitcake nonsense is happening in the world of Fracking.
Fracking Friday — Our Environment
“Natural gas and oil production is the second-biggest source of U.S. greenhouse gases, the government said.”
You know it’s a big deal when your country’s government finally puts it on paper and says it out loud. Too bad they didn’t figure this out and speak up earlier. According to the article from whence came the quotes, the EPA indicated the following:
“Emissions from drilling, including fracking, and leaks from transmission pipes totaled 225 million metric tons of carbon-dioxide equivalents during 2011, second only to power plants, which emitted about 10 times that amount.”
So… does that mean we are done arguing about whether or not Fucking Fracking contributes to the depletion of our steadily thinning ozone? Yay! Welcome to 1999! Maybe next year we can learn about that new-fangled HIV virus I heard about recently.
I mean, good grief. Seriously. There are still a fuck-tone of people who still believe that Global Warning is merely a lie being told to scare the population into… being scared. My own parents fall into this sad group of sad individuals who sadly think that science is based on wishes and magic and fairy dust. I’m pretty sure they also believe the dinosaurs either (a) didn’t really exist and the “evidence” was merely planted by God, who apparently likes to pull practical jokes on his worshippers (“Hey, dude — yeah, you! Go kill your son! Do it, do it, do it… PSYCH! Nah, man! Just kidding. Totally pulling your leg.”); or (b) existed at the same time as the cavemen, who rode those bitches like ponies and bonked ‘em over the head with clubs Flintstone-style.
You know what the science-loving child of religious fanatics says? FML, that’s what. Because that is some bullshit right there.
Fracking Friday — Our LandOkay, so there is this awesome article title, and I want to say I made it up, because it sounds like something that I would write, but honest-to-goodness — this is a FOR REALZ piece written by a FOR REALZ journalist-type person. Ready for it? The piece is called “Oops! Looks Like Fracking Can Cause Earthquakes, After All” and is based on a report from the British Columbia Oil and Gas Commission which concludes, rather anticlimactically, since most people possessed of working brains had already figured this out, the following:
“Horn River Basin seismicity events, from 2009 to late 2011, were caused by fluid injection during hydraulic fracturing. All events occurred during or between hydraulic fracturing stage operations. Dense array data accurately placed the depth and location of events at or near hydraulic fracturing stages.”
Really? You had to do a freaking study to see if screwing around with the planet’s inner guts is a good idea? Yay, I guess, that it is now written in black and white for all to see. But boo-hiss that there were any naysayers in the first damn place. When the ground upon which you stand is multilayered and kind of ill-balanced, you should safely guess that peeling back the layers AS YOU STAND UPON THEM is a bad idea. It’s kind of like jumping up and down on your mom’s bed while she is trying to flip the mattress. You’re going to want to get off the planet before you start changing the sheets. Or something.
Meanwhile, in Texas — you know what? Fuck them. Let them figure it. I can’t stand Texas anyway.
Fracking Friday — Our Food
So, in addition to screwing up the air we breathe, along with that protective atmosphere which keeps the sun from burning us into blackened pieces of crispy bacon; in addition to threatening the ground beneath our feet; Fucking Fracking also kills our food supply. As in, literally.
Also? Killing our food supply wreaks major havoc with local economies… which will easily become a global problem as greedy assholes continue to try pulling cancerous rabbits out of other people’s butts.
Look. I’m not a vegan. I’m not even vegetarian. I like me a good mushroom Swiss burger every couple months, and I can definitely stomach steaks and pork chops. I’m not one of those hippies crying about the plight of the animals.
[[[ Although, to be fair to hippies, they do kind of have a point with regard to the cruel treatment of stock animals and also the fact that, well, killing animals just for the sport of it is a pretty shitty reason for killing ANYTHING. ]]]
But my point is this: I’m not trying to push you into eating all healthy, organic-only, vegan recipes. That would be pretty damn hypocritical of me considering we eat beef fried rice, bacon and cheese pizza, or tacos fairly regularly. Not like, all together or anything. *grody* But all that food I just mentioned? Fracking is fucking up our meat and veggie supplies. Seriously.
Check this out:
“A study involving interviews with animal owners who live near gas drilling operations revealed frequent deaths. Animals that survived exhibited health problems including infertility, birth defects and worsening reproductive health in successive breeding seasons. Some animals developed unusual neurological conditions, anorexia, and liver or kidney disease.”
You can read about what farmers are doing to take action against Fucking Fracking in this informative article called “Fracking Our Farms: A Tale of Five Farming Families”.
Fracking Friday — What To Do
Well, first of all, don’t be a douchebag. Which of course means, if you’re Fucking Fracking, knock that shit off. You know you’re a lying a-hole; moreover, *WE* know you’re a lying a-hole. Friends don’t let friends Fucking Frack. So stop it.
If you already weren’t Fucking Fracking, you’re aces in my book. Well, I mean, unless you are douche-y in other ways, in which case, I rescind my aces and dub thee shit.
So there you were, not Fucking Fracking, and not being otherwise douche-tastic, and all of a sudden my wild Fracking Friday post jumped into your eyeball and caused you to become patriotic and whatnot. You got really excited, and shouted enthusiastically, “I will save the world. I will save… ALL THE PEOPLE. I will stop… ALL THE FUCKING FRACKING.” Then you came down off your high and realized you had no idea WTF to do besides shouting, which, let’s be honest, was kind of easy and also tax-free.
You can follow Josh Fox, who made the highly informative documentary GasLand, which should be required viewing for all intelligent and kind people of this planet. Josh posts lots of alerts and calls to action. You should also check out his emergency short film, THE SKY IS PINK.
This short film has been out for 9 mos. The Gas industrypretends it doesn’t exist. Their wells leak. They know it.pinkskyny.com
— Josh Fox (@gaslandmovie) February 18, 2013
Fracking Friday — It’s All You.
So, are you a douche? No? Good. Then it’s your responsibility as a person who is not douche-y to help put an end to Fucking Fracking. Let’s do this thing, m-kay?
Check out some of my older posts on Fracking!