In my never-ending quest to better myself, and thus this bloggy-blog, while remaining true to my obnoxious and vociferous personality, I read several blogs in varying genres. I often find inspirational material, and some pretty terrific Do-It-Yourself types of things. Like, how to do this-n-that, and why, and on which planet. I recently took a week off to do some soul-searching and blog-thinking and exercise-contemplating, and in doing so realized they all have similar “This is how you fix it” qualities. Which of course I am about to share, because I’m just awesome like that, as you know.
Be a Better Whatever #1: Identify your “Why”.
Your “Why” is a “Want”, not an “Ought”. This is important because understanding that you “ought” to do something isn’t enough to urge follow-through. This is merely a logical conclusion engaging only your mind, not your heart. If your heart isn’t in it, you aren’t going to do it. KNOWING something isn’t equivalent to FEELING something.
Q: Why do I want to be a better person?
A: Because I don’t like the person I am, and I owe it to myself to reach my potential. People think I’m angry, whereas I consider myself passionate. I don’t want to be remembered as an angry bitch. I want to be remembered as a giving, energetic, funny person.
Q: Why do I want to be a better blogger?
A: Because it helps me clear my mind, and because it helps me realize I’m not alone in my crazy thinking, and because, when I’m not blinded by rage at Republicans or Corporate America or a-holes in general, I’m pretty good at it. Because I like that others like what I have to say, and because I need a public place to record my progress.
Q: Why do I want to be a better exerciser?
A: Because it provides a sense of accomplishment once I’ve finished for the day, and because it gets me motivated to tackle other tasks, and because I feel like less of a sloth after I’ve showered and dressed and put on some mascara and earrings — all of which I’m much less inclined to do if I didn’t exercise that morning. And because I’m Vitamin D deficient so getting outside for a bit helps alleviate that issue. And obviously because this extra poundage ain’t gonna melt off on its own.
See? It’s not enough to know you “ought” to do something. Everyone knows they “ought” to grow as individuals, and find a way to organize thoughts, and exercise. These are no-brainers. But we don’t do them. Why? Because we don’t want to. DUH. Find your “Why” and you will start to be a better whatever.
Be a Better Whatever #2: Identify your “Who”.
You seriously need a crowd. It FOR REALZ takes a village, people. I’m still gathering my peeps, my tribemates, my circle, my accountability partners. Call them whatever you want, but get them. Even if it’s just a group on Facebook that you report to so other members can cheer you on. You need support. Any time you want to move forward, it’s tempting to go it alone and climb the mountain all by yourself. Don’t do that. It’s silly. You’re taking on extra steps that will only bog you down during lulls in your enthusiasm, which is bound to happen. You will flag, and you will fall. Figure out who is going to be there. As Woody said in Toy Story, “Has everyone picked a Moving Buddy?”
My “Be a better person” Moving Buddy is kind of up in the air.
My hubz is my biggest fan, and I am slowly gaining a small support group on Facebook to whom I turn when the shit gets too deep, although I have not identified them as such. I think it’s time to make the status of my Moving Buddies official. Right now, I’m kind of floundering on my own. And that way lies madness, people.
My “Be a better blogger” Moving Buddy is my hubz.
He makes me do the writing and I have to report to him when I fail to do so. Needless to say, he wasn’t thrilled with my week off. I guess accountability also falls in the hands of my readers, by the number of comments I garner, by stat counts, and all that other stuff. But honestly, that is kind of disingenuous, because I’m not interested in becoming a better blogger for the sake of numbers. I’m interested in becoming a better blogger because of all the reasons listed above. Another form of accountability lies in joining Challenges. In April I will partake of the AtoZ Blogging Challenge, so for a month they will serve as my Moving Buddies.
My “Be a better exerciser” Moving Buddy is a site I use to track my mileage.
It’s cool because I log the distance I ran (by which of course I mean “jogged”, which of course means “walked”) and it calculates a total as though I’m traveling long distance. Thus far, the total numbers of miles I put in have allowed me to walk across the state of Ohio. That’s not very far, in the grand scheme of things, but it’s better than ZERO miles. This digital means of support is cold, though. I need people to cheer me on, and for that I report my progress again in a Facebook group to which I belong. I’m also gearing up to participate in a 5K this summer (more on that in a future post!). Once I locate other potential participants, they will be my Moving Buddies, too.
See? It’s not enough to commit. You have to have cheerleaders and fans and whatnot. Get your tribe in place and you will start to be a better whatever.
Be a Better Whatever #3: Identify your “When”.
As in, Start Date / Finish Date / Check-In Dates / How Often / etc. If you are serious — and I know you are — then you need to get this shit in place. Otherwise you’re all talk, no walk. And nobody likes that guy. Don’t be that guy, okay?
“Be a better person”
Start Date: um, now. Like, all the time.
Finish Date: oh. Like, death or something. I don’t want to stop being nice.
Check-In Dates: I kind of hit on this in my quasi-weekly “What’s Up Wenzday” posts. I’ll make sure to do a better job, since I’m committing here and now, out loud and proud.
How Often: I should be trying to be nice all the time. One way for me to do that is to stop getting worked up over things that haven’t even happened yet. I get all riled and cuss-ish at imagined conversations which have yet to take place. I’m kind of psycho like that. It actually got me into trouble this past weekend and I’m mortified over it. So henceforth I shall endeavor to:
(a) Count to ten before opening my stupid mouth (not bite my tongue altogether, mind you — just make sure I’m about to say something that I really want to say).
(b) Snap a rubberband on my wrist when I find myself out of control (except a rubberband bracelet would annoy me, so I’m going to poke myself in the eye instead. Kidding. I’ll probably give myself a tittie-twister or something).
(c) Do a channel check when hot topics come up that I recognize as potential disasters — which is to say, change the subject. My hubz suggested arriving prepared with a list of acceptable topics to choose from. I like to tell stories; they don’t all have to be complain-y and angry.
“Be a better blogger”
Start Date: Monday, March 18, 2013
Finish Date: n/a, bitches. I shall blog till I die. Or thereabouts.
Check-In Dates: I try to post five days a week. If I don’t have a new piece up, you may consider this a “fail” for the day.
How Often: Um, daily-ish. DUH.
“Be a better exerciser”
Start Date: Monday, March 18, 2013
Finish Date: Upon that age finding my hip is broken and I need a cane. I am NOT going to be that lady in the motorized chair, people. “MEEP-MEEP-MEEP” — back the truck up! No. Never.
Check-In Dates: “What’s Up Wenzday”
How Often: Daily. And I get a prize after I hit 40 days straight, according to my hubz. Last time I got to ten before having to start over. Fuck me. Sometimes I hate my un-energetic self.
See? You can’t just be all excited and then expect to be a better whatever overnight. Without setting up some alarms or jotting notes in your planner or getting some dates down on your calendar, you’re just begging to flop.
You can totally be a better whatever. But you have to put effort into it. To be a better whatever, you need to have a serious heart-to-heart with yourself and figure out who is in charge of you. If you don’t like the answer, it’s up to you to fix it. Nobody else can help you decide how to be a better whatever until you have decided how to do it yourself. Or, you know. Whatever.