I tried not to Love McDonald’s, but the temptation was simply too great. Zues help me, McDonald’s… “I just can’t stop loving you… ” So let’s talk McDonald’s.
Reason #1 to Love McDonald’s:
Fountain Coke
One of my friends (hi, Lexy!) recently wrote on Facebook, “I wouldn’t eat McDonald’s if their Coke wasn’t so damn good.” She definitely has a point. Right after watching the awesome fast-food documentary SUPERSIZE ME, we went through a phase wherein we did our best to avoid burger joints. We even told our Little that the food had poop in it, so she wouldn’t want to go anymore. Even so, on my lunch breaks from work, I visited the McDonald’s drive-through window for a large Coke. Every day. I couldn’t help myself. That shit tastes epic. It’s how I imagine magical glitter would taste. Not the plastic crap you buy at the craft store. REAL glitter, that comes from fairies and whatnot.
Reason #2 to Love McDonald’s:
Value Menu
McDonald’s has the absolute BEST Dollar Menu on the planet. Where else can I get a hamburger (McDouble, hold the pickles), small fry, large Coke (fairy glitter), and an ice cream cone for under five bucks? That is a full meal plus dessert. And if you eat it inside the lobby rather than in your car? Free drink re-fills! Get sick of burgers? That’s okay — next time order the McChicken. I like mine with no sauce. Pure yum. For a very poor family living at the edge of a paycheck, sometimes this is the best way to go. Not every night, but who would do that anyway? Even Raman Noodles get sickening if you eat them too many days in a row.
Reason #3 to Love McDonald’s:
Cheap Desserts
Did I already mention their ice cream cones? They are only fifty-cents! That is half a dollar. That is less than the cost of a Coke with free re-fills. That is less than a cup of coffee most places. And it’s soft-serve. Okay — YUM! Especially during these hot summer months, I can not get enough! So you have had too much ice cream lately and you’re sick of it? No problem! Order three chocolate-chip cookies instead. It costs double — a whole dollar — but they are seriously DELISH. ***nom-nom-nom***
Reason #4 to Love McDonald’s:
Happy Meals
Our Little loves all the Happy Meal choices, so she bases her order around what toy is being offered. And you know what? Even though they are cheap-o, plastic pieces of crap — she is thrilled with her prize for the next week. What’s really fun is deciding which is better: the boy toy versus the girl toy. You just never know. I do wish the Happy Meal consistently arrived in the Happy Meal box container. Our Little always complains that she has been robbed when the workers take the lazy route & stick it all in a paper bag. The box comes with games and trivia questions and other interesting bits to consume time while munching down on grubs.
Reason #5 to Love McDonald’s:
Playland
Our Little LOVE-LOVE-LOVES the McDonald’s Playland park things. The climbing, the sliding, the ball pits, the other kids, the screaming and laughing and running… She thinks it’s the best party ever. We hardly ever go to these, because noise, other moms, and other kids all combine to drive me crazy. You might have noticed, I’m not very social. So when we *DO* cave in and take her for a fun time, it’s a blast. She is seven, not exactly a baby anymore, but every time she goes through the maze of tunnels, she makes sure to wave at me through the glass. I told her how much I love when she does that, and she said, “I know, Mom. I like to check up on you and make sure you’re doing okay.” I love that kid.
Reason #6 to Love McDonald’s:
I will admit, this game is one of my very favorite parts of McDonald’s. I collect all the pieces every time the game comes back around, but I always end up with multiple copies of the same three hotels. I even teamed up with a friend once to see if our combined pieces would win us something — anything — but he had the same crap I did. *BUGGER* … I can’t wait till it comes back around to Monopoly season again. I have a good feeling about it this time. Just you wait — I will score a monopoly!
Reason #7 to Love McDonald’s:
Location, Location, Location
Seriously, when you can find NOTHING else, you can ALWAYS find a McDonald’s. I live out in the country, and the only fast-food place we have nearby is… you guessed it… McDonald’s! Wait, we also have a Subway, which we patronize as frequently as McDonald’s. But that’s it! That’s all there is out here! At that, we still have to drive over ten minutes to get there. But when we drive on the highway, there’s one at every exit. Throughout the U.S. even. How cool is THAT? Generally clean potties, too. Just sayin’.
Reason #8 to Love McDonald’s:
Easy Occupation
Because of the close proximity, we know every single employee at our local McDonald’s. Which is nice because now my son has an easy “in” if he wants to work there. Our foster-teen last year got a job there — her very first job ever — which leads me to believe it can’t be that difficult to get hired. Since they hire young people, they tend to work around their school schedules more easily than other employers might. Plus, since we know all the workers, when they fuck up my order, I can say, “I know where you live. Give me my straw before I go key your mom’s car.”
Reason #9 to Love McDonald’s:
Who doesn’t love a charity? Put your hand down — it was a rhetorical question to which I expected one-hundred-percent agreement, you ass-hat!
ANYWAY — I greatly admire the first statement of their vision:
“We believe that when you change a child’s life,
you change a family’s,
which can change a community,
and ultimately the world.”
I have known families positively impacted by the Ronald McDonald House Charity, and can totally see myself donating to this worthy cause. I might not LIKE kids, but I love supporting organizations that are kid-oriented.
Reason #10 to Love McDonald’s:
Reliable, Dependable, Trustworthy, FOREVER
Let’s get serious for a minute. I know, “serious” is boring, but stay with me here. We’ve talked about McDonald’s being everywhere, and we’ve talked about their great value menu prices. There’s a reason for these generous boons, and it’s called ECONOMICS 101 (See this article from The Motley Fool). As prices everywhere else go up, “we the people” will go where the prices are still down. The hubz and I haven’t had a romantic dinner at Olive Garden in well over a year, but you can bet your bottom dollar we’ve had several so-called “date nights” at our local McDonald’s. They are smart. They are catering to the larger crowd — the poor and the lower middle class. Working America can’t afford nice dinners out on the town. But we can all afford that one-dollar hamburger I mentioned earlier.
So there you have it. Ten reasons to Love McDonald’s. Did I overlook any McD’s awesomeness? Do tell! I’d love to hear all about your favorite dipping sauce, too (mine is Ranch, while the hubz prefers honey mustard, & the Little takes her straight-up with ketchup).
PS. My hubz just thought of an 11th reason to Love McDonald’s:
Free Wi-Fi.
*yes* True that, my love.
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