10 Things I Hate

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10 Things I Hate

Yeah, I said it. “Hate”. I know, I know, it’s a very strong word and I should be careful how I use it because blah-blah-blah. But I could say “strongly dislike” just as easily and it would mean the same thing only with more wordage. So I’m gonna stick with “hate”, and we can both agree that I pretty much mean it.

1. When someone distracts me while I’m writing. I have zero ability to multitask (a future blog on this lovely topic forthcoming), so whatever I am working on pulls all my focus. My husband constantly bugs me to “Come look at this, Babe!” or asks me, “What are you writing about, Darling?” or reminds me, “Hey, I need clean undies for tomorrow so can you run a load of laundry?” I snap at him. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Which is ugly because he is really great and of course doesn’t deserve that treatment so then I have to apologize and explain for the millionth time, “I’m working over here!”

2. When someone walks up behind me and I don’t hear it, and since I’m so immersed in what I’m doing, I freak out and jump out of my seat and crack my patella on the desk and flip the computer across the room while shrieking.

3. The movie Broke Back Mountain — not because of the gay stuff, which I’m totally fine with, but because the script was stupid and the music was overly dramatic. For movies with homosexual themes, I much prefer Milk, or Boys on the Side, or every episode of Glee. But Broke Back — dude, that movie sucked!

4. Zombies, for all the obvious reasons.

5. When people remind me that zombies aren’t real. I know they aren’t real. They’re still freaking scary as all hellz.

6. Cirque du Soliel. I’m so afraid someone’s gonna get dropped — and all my fears were recognized during their performance at the Academy Awards when performers were tossing each around and one of the guys fell. Too much stress on my heart and I’m too young to have a stroke.
7. Boats.Which makes my hubby very sad. But they make me barf so it’s not my fault. And don’t suggest Dramamine because all that does is knock me out. If I’m gonna miss the ride, shouldn’t I just skip it and stay home? I much prefer lying on the couch, curled up under an afghan with a good book, to puking or enduring drug-induced stupors.

***BTW, Afghans possess magical healing properties.***
(Regardless of what my hubz says. He doesn’t know.)

8. Horses. Which makes my daughter very sad. But look at their faces — don’t they resemble aliens to some degree? They watch things and have this knowing glance about them that makes me think they know just a bit too much, thank you.

9. Any book by Danielle Steel. And really all other romance novels. You may like them, and if so, that’s fine by me — you can have my share because I think they seriously suck. More than Broke Back Mountain even. She is my inspiration for writing a novel. If she can get that shit published, surely that’s proof of my abilities.

10. When the ceiling fan above my desk gets so dusty that I just know if I turn it on, the bunnies will fall all over me. Do I get up to clean it? Hellz no. I’m writing. When my book is published someday, I shall hire a maid.

This list is obviously just a starter piece. I could think of many other hate-ish kinds of things. But my afghan wants me. Goodbye, then. Be a love and shut off the light, would you? Don’t forget to leave your list of hates by the door, or in the comments.

I Got Nuthin. And I’m not even sorry for it.

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I Got Nuthin. And I’m not even sorry for it.Nothing

After yesterday’s heavy, downer of a post on DEPRESSION, which I wrote partly in honor of Mental Health Month (which is every May), partly to vent my frustration about how badly people treat those suffering DEPRESSION, and partly because the topic had been on my mind a lot lately… I am just emotionally empty.

Today was supposed to be…

a fabulous homage to my favorite blogger and author, Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. But I fear I cannot do her funniness proper honor today. Jenny is hilarious and deserves better than what I can offer up at the moment.

It’s not that I’m suffering DEPRESSION per se…

but since, like alcoholism, one is never truly cured of this illness, I fear the best I can say of myself currently is that I’m a Recovering Depressive. And I’m really feeling that label today. Nothing feels funny.

I guess I had too much hurt,lockers

anger, and grey material to unpack, and now I need to take some time to put it back in its locker toward the back of my brain. I’d gladly hire a maid, but I’m that crazy sort who has to clean up before the maid arrives because I wouldn’t want her to see my mess and be put out by it. Yes, which does indeed defeat the purpose, you’re right, I agree. Shaddup.

So anyway, I can’t really say anything right now which wouldn’t come out sounding slightly bitter. There is an afghan calling to me from the couch, where I hear a nap awaits my arrival.

Jenny, if you’re reading this,

I promise to write about you on Monday. I’d promise Friday to you, but that day is already sworn to my son, who graduates from high school tomorrow. And as much as I adore you, I really do love him more.

Not that it’s a contest.

But, you know, you lose.