Before I get too far into this post, I want to make a couple things clear.
First, I think breastfeeding is awesome, healthy, fabulous, and definitely the way to go if you are both able AND willing. I know all about that whole great-for-immune-system and avoid-ear-infections stuff (although I nursed my son and he still has ear infections to this day, at the age of 18, so that could be either malarkey or else he’s abnormal).
Second, I nursed both my babies. Okay, now that we’ve cleared that up, you have a firm understanding that I am pro-breastfeeding. Everyone got that?
Here is what I am *NOT* pro, with regard to breastfeeding. There is this faddish movement currently wherein women pull out their tits while in public to feed their babies. Now, remember, I said I did this too — but with a blankie covering my nipples, people. I was discrete. I did not just whip it out for all to see. But if you walk through any mall, you will see a group of mamas all breast-exposed and whatnot, happily chatting with each other as though they aren’t half-naked.
I always want to shout, when I see this Greek Druid crowd of all-natural creatures toting re-usable diapers and homemade baby chow, “I can see your bee-boo!”
My husband saw my ex’s girlfriend’s boob.
True story. My ex and his girlfriend came over one day to pick up my daughter, and the GF sat down down in my kitchen floor, leaning against my cabinet, & removed her breast from her low-cut blouse. She proceed to let the kid munch her cha-cha right there in front of all of us. My 18-yr-old son, my 7-yr-old daughter, and my husband. We all got to see her fabulously flabby booby and she didn’t even care.
Perhaps if we were a culture of nudists, showing her booby to my family wouldn’t be an issue. Truly I’d prefer if we could all lighten up and be comfortable with the topic of sex and nudity. But I didn’t make the rules, and society didn’t ask my opinion when they collectively decided that while mans can show off their chests, woe-mans must put theirs away. So the worthless, stupid, hairy ones get to come out and see sunlight, while the useful, pretty, soft ones stay pale and hidden. I agree, this is totally unfair. But until the day that America decides once and for all to get over the whole booby issue, I’d prefer you to keep your breasts to yourself, please — even when breastfeeding.
PS – Penelope Trunk says you are not a good mom, and that she is better than you, if you are a non-breastfeeding mommy. I say she is a judgmental bitch and I told her so via Twitter, because THAT? Is fucked up. Which I also told her:
— Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) July 14, 2012
You don’t have to thank me.
This post is part of the great bloggy-blog recovery process.
During the month of April 2012 Andi-Roo participated in the
wherein she posted every day that month
blogging thematically from A to Z.
Her theme revolved around issues about which she feels passionate.
Andi-Roo was told not to apologize for this.