I love seeing people get snoped…
especially when it’s someone particularly stupid… someone I’ve watched post one stupid article after another. Thank you, fellow snopers. You really, really, really (times) infinity make my day. No — my year! Wait, no — my LIFE!
Snoped — What is this snoping thing of which I speak?
Snopes.com is “the definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.” Meaning, when someone posts some fucked up crap about computer viruses or zombie attacks or companies who support shit that no one cares about, you can double-check the veracity of that crap by looking it up. Then, when the crap is proven to be the crap that it is, you can send the information about the hoax to the offending (and obviously incorrect) parties who were too lazy to look into it themselves.
Examples of folks who got Snoped:
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New Year’s Eve – Peel and Stick Wall Decal 
“New Year’s is the day of the year on which the greatest number of people are killed in automobile accidents.”
Turns out that people crash all year long, and New Year’s is no exception in so far as being more likely a tragic holiday than any other.
BAM! You got holiday Snoped!
Remember all those threats of a virus attached to various emails and updates and Facebook statuses and shit like that? Here’s a good one: Collected back in September 2012, an email was going around about:
…which turns out to be nothing more than a recycled hoax from as far back as the year 2000.
BAM! You got virus Snoped!
NASA Space Shuttle Blast Challenger Picture Art Print “NASA scientists discovered a ‘missing’ day in time which corresponds to Biblical accounts of the sun’s standing still in the sky.”
Turns out that NASA did no such thing. (As if any of us are shocked…)
BAM! You got science Snoped!
(And science is the best Snope of ALL!)
A warning back in April 2011 was going around
“about Facebook users being tricked into clicking on a game associated with one of the Twilight movies.”
Turns out that there wasn’t really a virus. There seldom is, dumb-dumbs.
BAM! You got vampire Snoped!
“Barack Obama is a ‘radical Muslim’ who ‘will not recite the Pledge of Allegiance.”
Turns out that this is all a bunch of garbage. No shit. Ya think?
BAM! You got president Snoped!
Coca-Cola Regular Fridge Pack “A tooth left in a glass of Coca-Cola will dissolve overnight.”
Turns out that (a) no, it won’t, and (b) the acid in Coke is as horrible for you as the acid in a glass of Orange Juice… and it’s a damn good thing you swallow that shit down instead of leaving it in your mouth for days on end. I find this is one of my favorite snopes because people get on me about my Coke-drinking addiction like ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I know they only care about my guts, which is why they speak out, but still. These caring motherfuckers like to say, “If it can take the rust off a carburetor, just imagine what it’s doing to your insides!” … to which I always reply, “Hoorayz! My insides are RUST FREE!” Coke is bad enough for people without dumb-dumbs having to resort to nonsense. And also? I’m not going to stop drinking it, so STFU!
BAM! You got Coke Snoped!
Get Snoped. Go Snope yourself. Snope off.
No, really. I mean it. The next time something sounds questionable, go check it out. I will fully admit that I used to fall for dumb rumors in the early days of mass email messaging. It’s easy to get caught up in the enthusiasm that comes with a good ol’ fashioned, “OMG can you believe this shit?!?”
But now we’re smarter than that, people. The answer to the question should be,
“No. I absolutely can NOT believe that shit. And I’m going to go check Snopes.com before I send this out. Because I don’t want to look stupid. And because I don’t want you to send this shit to other people if it’s as incorrect as I suspect it is.”
My sister is the one who introduced me to Snopes.com and I am so very grateful she did. I can still remember how I first reacted, though. I’m embarrassed to say that one of my first “BAM! You got Snoped!” messages came out as “scoped”. I shall never live down my mortification.
See? We all fuck up. But we can all learn from our mistakes. We can all get snoped. I highly recommend it.
There is no greater pleasure than telling your dumbass associates — that cray-cray aunt, for example, who likes to propagate the lies about our president’s birth certificate; or that idiot cousin who likes to talk about how some cola company left out “under God” in their obvious plot to drown the country in paganism (and then they’ll name the wrong cola company just to make the rumor that much more funny and false); or that damnable employer who thinks he knows all about how much the new health laws are going to cost his company — yes, there is no greater pleasure than telling your dumbass relatives and coworkers exactly how stupid they truly are.
On Snoping and being Snoped:
Have you ever been snoped?
What was it about?
Did you feel as dumb as I felt when I got snoped?
Have you ever snoped anyone else?
Was it not glorious?