I am so excited about this post today! First, because it is about Zombies, which is fkn awesome. Second, because it provides excellent tips on Zombie survival. And third — the best reason of all — it is brought to you by a really funny blogger, my new friend The Anon Bloggers. You should def. run and check out Anon’s great material because it will keep you smiling — Promise! More info is provided at the end of this fabulous post — my very first guest post (the Hubz doesn’t count cuz he’s all like married to me and whatnot.) Thanks, Anon!!!
Zombies, the undead living creatures that feast on human brains. Some might think that zombies are born with the appetite for brains, but it actually originated by mistake. One zombie was reading a health journal, which said that “bran” was good for the digestive system, but he misread it as “brains,” and it was passed down for generation to generation until now. It’s a tradition. And what a wonderful tradition it is.
However, many people recently have told me about the upcoming zombie apocalypse, where zombies take over the world and kill everyone. Even some media supports this. This is preposterous for many reasons:
- Zombies are alive, and an apocalypse would mean everything is dead, so as long as the zombies exist, no apocalypse.
- When zombies bite a human, the human is turned into a zombie. As said above, zombies are alive, so no humans will die in the process.
- By the time zombies start wreaking havoc on more victims, the zombie vaccine will probably be perfected, so there is nothing to worry about.
- Zombies feed on brains, and I can think of quite a few people in the world who are missing those
If you are afraid of getting attacked by a zombie, here are a few precautions you can take:
- Wear and eat a lot of garlic. Zombies hate it.
- Carry a stake around. Zombies will die with a stake through the heart.
- Carry a flashlight around and stay in the sun. Zombies hate light.
- Hang out with a werewolf. Werewolves and zombies are natural enemies.
Oh wait! That’s the list for vampires. Here’s the zombie list of precautions:
- If you see a zombie, run as fast as you can the other way.
I hope this has helped you understand a little better your neighbors from beyond the grave.